postheadericon Being Great

I have found that in my infinite wisdom, I can't be great all the time.  I had these grand and lofty ideas of motherhood.  I wouldn't do this and I wouldn't do that (no specifics here) but I found myself doing all of the above.  I am a little embarrassed that I judged mothers before I was one.  It is so hard.  It is the most amazing and most challenging thing I will ever do.  Imagine, what I do everyday will have an impact on the little people I put out into the world.  It is terrifying.  When I say "terrifying", I mean stand still, don't want to move, petrified.  I had found myself always afraid of the mistakes I would make.  I have learned that all I can do is get better.  I may never be great but to be better is pretty great in itself.  It is our ability as humans to be able to look at a mistake and learn from it, to grow.  I can only hope that I can impose that upon my girls.  It's ok to fall, to make mistakes.  It is the only way to grow up.  In my mid-thirties I am still growing up.  I have so much to learn and in some strange way my 2 girls have helped me with that.  Their ever growing love for me has created a space where I can mess up every now and then and they will be just fine with that.  They may even be ready with a sticky kiss or two.  Oh, did I ever have this mommy thing all wrong.   It is I who am learning.  I am going to be the best Mommy I can and my 2 girls are going to be amazing women one day.



postheadericon Lyla Bear

In a week I register my "baby girl" for kindergarten.  I cannot believe how time has gone by.  I look back on when she was born and the awe I felt.  It seems like a million years ago.  I thought I would never get past the sleepless nights, new mom insecurities, poopy diapers, beebees, and baby blues.  But here I am and here she is, 5 years later.

Those days are behind us and today I have this girl that is outgoing and confident, witty and smart.  She has a wicked sense of humor.  Her laugh lights up my world in a way I never thought possible.  She forever has a part of my heart and has awakened my soul.

She has this way of making friends that I am almost jealous of.  She is currently in a preschool near my work but will be starting Kindergarten near our house (about an hour difference) so not a single friend she has made will be at her new school.  I started telling her about how in Kindergarten she is going to be going to a new school and none of her preschool friends will be there.  Her response was, "A NEW SCHOOL!!! I am so excited mama.  I am gonna have lots of new friends and meet lots of new people.  I am just gonna say hi to them all and they will be my friend". Oh the confidence and excitement to meet new people.  I wish I had that quality and I love that she is so outgoing.  My fears were immediately melted away.  My "baby" is gonna be just fine.  She is going to conquer the world.  I am so blessed to be able to watch her do it.

To Lyla I say, "go get 'em tiger" they are lucky to have you.

Love you,


postheadericon Christmas time

This is by far my MOST favorite time of year
Everyone seems to be a little nicer
Everywhere smells a little better
Everything looks a little prettier
Why do I love this time of year so much?

I love giving gifts
Giving a great gift that is thoughtful and is loved
When someone is dumbfounded on how I remembered
The delight on their faces warms my heart

I love to bake
Getting all covered in flour
Wrapping the baked goods for sharing with loved ones
Bonding with my daughters over dough

I love my annual bake day with my grandma
Every year we do a full day of baking
We have done this for about a decade
It is our time to do something we both love
It is my time to learn all the traditions to pass down
This time is so valuable to me
I hope it will be equally valuable to my grandkids one day

I love our family traditions
Elfie - Our Elf on a Shelf
Fresh baked cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning
New Pajamas on Christmas Eve
New ornaments for each year
Still getting a full stocking from my Mom

I love to spend time with family
My family is number one
We have a big family and Christmas dinner is a blast
Everyone telling stories
Watching 'A Christmas Story'
Warming by the fire
Doing the White Elephant exchange
Getting so stuffed with food you can't move

I love watching my girls on Christmas Morning
It all leads up to this moment
When they come downstairs
With coal ash on their noses
and gifts left from Santa
My heart is so full when I see their smiles
They are my loves and my life
These are all the things I love.
These make Christmas time the best time
Every year is more amazing than the last


postheadericon Diaper Cakes

I love to make diaper cakes for soon to be Mommies.
Each one is personalized and they are full of lots of love
I love babies and this is my little way to welcome them to the world.

Here is my collection of Pink and Green cakes I have made:




postheadericon lyla's in love

My dear beautiful 4-year-old daughter, Lyla, is in "love"

There is a boy in her preschool class that she will not quit talking about.  For his anonymity I will call him "Billy".

The conversation on the first day went something like this:
Lyla: Mommy, Billy is so handsome.
Me: He is?
Lyla: Yup. He is so handsome.

Second day:
Lyla: You know Billy is handsome right?
Me: yea, he is pretty cute
Lyla: He is NOT cute. He is handsome. I am cute
Me: Oh, i am so sorry.
Lyla: Can I marry him?  Do you have a dress i can wear when I get big to marry him?
Me (thru muffled laughter): Yes I have a dress.
Lyla: Oh good.  Does daddy have a suit for Billy to wear when he gets bigger too?
Me: Yes Daddy has a suit.

At this point I am having a hard time controlling myself.  Where in the world does she come up with this stuff.  Fortunately, she is not done yet and the third day is by far the best.

Third day:
Lyla:  Billy is handsome Mommy.
Me: I know
Lyla: Can I kiss him?
Me: NO! You are too young to kiss boys
Lyla: It's ok! He is four and I am four.
Me: I know but you are too little
Lyla: Ok well I am going to hug him and when he comes to my birthday party I am going to wear my princess dress for him.  He is so handsome and he is so strong.
Me: ........speechless

She continues for about another 15 minutes about "billy" and I am all smiles the entire time. She is so funny.  I realize later I am in a WHOLE WORLD OF HURT.  This is all too soon.  She is too young.  I told Todd about it later that night and he was totally freaked.  That is his baby and she won't be kissing ANYONE, at least not on his watch.

My baby girl is growing up.  I love her so much and want her to stop growing right this second.  In fact I insist she stop.  Oh, but I don't have control over that.  I guess just enjoy these times of innocent thoughts and first loves.


postheadericon Elfie Day six 2011

Day six

postheadericon Elfie Day four and Five 2011

Day Four:
Elfie did not return because my Lyla has a hard time composing herself and keeping her grubby little paw of Elfie.  He lost his magic for a whole day

Day Five:


About Me

I am a full time mother and full time office manager. I love both but yearn to be home more with my girls. They, along with my husband, are my life. I love spending time with them...


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