Sticky Kisses & Dirty Hugs

I have found that in my infinite wisdom, I can't be great all the time.  I had these grand and lofty ideas of motherhood.  I wouldn't do this and I wouldn't do that (no specifics here) but I found myself doing all of the above.  I am a little embarrassed that I judged mothers before I was one.  It is so hard.  It is the most amazing and most challenging thing I will ever do.  Imagine, what I do everyday will have an impact on the little people I put out into the world.  It is terrifying.  When I say "terrifying", I mean stand still, don't want to move, petrified.  I had found myself always afraid of the mistakes I would make.  I have learned that all I can do is get better.  I may never be great but to be better is pretty great in itself.  It is our ability as humans to be able to look at a mistake and learn from it, to grow.  I can only hope that I can impose that upon my girls.  It's ok to fall, to make mistakes.  It is the only way to grow up.  In my mid-thirties I am still growing up.  I have so much to learn and in some strange way my 2 girls have helped me with that.  Their ever growing love for me has created a space where I can mess up every now and then and they will be just fine with that.  They may even be ready with a sticky kiss or two.  Oh, did I ever have this mommy thing all wrong.   It is I who am learning.  I am going to be the best Mommy I can and my 2 girls are going to be amazing women one day.